I can’t believe the season is over already! It’s been one crazy ride on the hot tamale train, but as we near the station at Crazytown, I find myself wishing for more time. More time! Well with a total of four hours of SYTYCD, I certainly got my wish this week. First, tonight’s final performance show. While I wasn’t as excited by all the numbers as last year, I’m wholly satisfied with the dancers in this finale. It’s gonna be another good one, so read on for the finale of SoYouThinkYouCanDance!
Nein Herr
After welcoming our finalists, Cat steps out in a spangly gold number from the 80’s. I’m pretty sure there are shoulderpads involved.
Go wide!
WTF, Dan Karraty is on the panel tonight. It is only acceptable for him to be a judge on the finale because it means he’s not choreographing. Zing. We start with a little host chat with Nigel, blah blah, SYTYCD is great, it’s bringing dance to Ameriker. During Mary’s rambling she calls Nigel her English muffin. Ew, that comment is the auditory equivalent of walking in on your parents having sex.
Cat promises “no fluff” because there are so many dances to get through tonight, but first? More fluff! This first piece features clips of all the finalists’ journey’s through the show. Watching this now, I still can’t believe Neil made it this far.
The first routine we’re getting tonight is a Broadway routine for all four finalists. We see chairs and Tyce says something about it being “slick” so you know it’s something from Cabaret. Like all his other Fosse-based dances, this one suffers from a lack of originality. Snooze.
They’re dancing to “Mein Herr,” and I can’t help but think this would be soo much better with at least one of those guys dressed in drag. Come on, it’s Broadway, FOX! Anyways, I don’t think this is the best song to dance to. The tempos are so all over the place, it’s not wonder the dancers can’t agree on a beat. What a sloppy way to start the finale.
Or not! Nigel thought they started on a good foot and compliments Tyce. Nigel loves all the dancers too. Nigel reminds the audience that they’re voting for their favorite, not the best. But why wouldn’t we want the best, Nigel?
You’re late for the Mummy Ball, Crazy Face
Back from commercial, Cat introduces an interview with her and Lacey. Lacey claims she was conned into dancing because she’s such a rebel and didn’t want to dance though she comes from a family of dancers. Who dance. Lacey won some crazy titles in some crazy outfits before quitting and going to hair school. But she became a beauty school drop-out after seeing her brother win last year. Cat asks about emotional highs and lows, but instead of getting an interesting response from Lacey, her moments are all related to dance. God, what does she think this is, a dance show or something?? Lacey’s whole interview sounds way too rehearsed.
Lacey’s dancing her solo to some techno with a good beat in an unflattering dress. She steals Benji’s move where she falls back into the crowd, though it looks like she literally falls. Oh if only.
Nigel thought it was a pretty good solo from her, but he still wishes she’d lose some of her “ballroom” faces. Mary thought it was better prepared, and says she’s so outstanding with a partner, Mary doesn’t mind that Lacey’s solos aren’t that great.
Neil and Sabra are assigned a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine, and all anyone talks about in rehearsal is how white Neil is. Shane wants Neil to be sexier, which Neil says is akin to asking Nigel to be British. Another one of those trademark “funny” jokes by Neil.
Didn’t your mother tell you it isn’t nice to stare?
The dance itself doesn’t seem that challenging to either of the dancers. There’s just no spark, which is so unexpected from Sabra. In his white blazer with his frosted tips, Neil reminds me of an elongated Spencer from The Hills, as if I didn’t find him douche-y enough already.
The judges were not huge fans of this routine. Nigel wanted a little more funk. He expected Sabra to be “really down there,” which is a normal phrase as normally as anyone speaks on this show populated by Wade Robson and Mia Michaels, but Nigel’s tone is so pervy and makes me shudder. Ew, gramps! Mary wanted more hard-hitting because she enjoys seeing others in pain. This was not a great start for Sabra. Is she choking?
Jean-Marc Generaux is choreographing a waltz for Danny and Lacey. They like to screw around in rehearsals, which is funny to us, but clearly driving Jean-Marc crazy. They’ve driven him to a blinking twitch. More yelling please! Best clip of the night:
I think the thunk is the most disturbing part.
WHY do these choreographers make them dance to pop music? Who waltzes to Avril Lavigne? Seriously, NOT the music of kings. It’s lovely as you would expect from Danny and Lacey. No trace of ugliness is Lacey’s wrist. Another great waltz from the dancers this season.
Nigel thought it was so good. Nigel points out that Lacey’s wrist looked great this week and asked what she did to rehearse. Lacey claims she put a popsicle stick in her glove while rehearsing to keep it straight. “She totally made that up.” Danny mutters into the microphone. LOL! I love partners calling each other out. Mary thought it was technically beautiful as well.
Neil’s interview is mostly uninteresting bits of him trying to be funny. The best parts are the embarrassing pictures of him.
I wish I could go back to the 90’s to kick this kid’s ass.
Neil likes the screaming girls because he thinks it means they believe in him, when really his frosted tips remind them of Zac Efron. Neil’s solo is pretty good and as much as I rag on him, I do think his dancing has definitely improved. Nigel thinks he’s “come good at the right time,” whatever that means, skeeze. Everybody agrees he’s been improving, but you can tell by their voices they don’t actually believe he’ll win.
The girl-girl piece is choreographed by Wade Robson who decided he wanted to explore “different female relationships,” though all his dance is about is the mother-daughter relationship. Real original. Oh, they’re not just a mother and daughter, but mother-daughter foxes. I see. Innovative.
And guys, they’re not just mother-daughter foxes, but they’re also Asian. Cause Wade loves his Asian wife. Bathed in blue light the dance is elegant, though not all that interesting or exciting to watch.
Who wants to hunt?
The judges were not impressed. Nigel wishes the girls had been given more to do, though he kisses Wade’s ass by calling it art. Lolz, he thought Lacey looked like a raptor. So true. Pretty much all the judges didn’t like it that much, and Sabra’s gotta be sweating at this point. She almost had it all!
Cat interviews Danny, and I’m psyched because it means we’re going to see him solo soon! He comes across very well in the interview, and I think for the first time the audience may get that his perceived arrogance comes form insecurity.
Sorry, but the elevator hates your outfit. Change and try again.
Danny is dancing to Gavin DeGraw’s cover of “We are the Champions,” which I’m sure people will think is arrogant, but it is his most brilliant dancing to date. I could watch him dance forever. I can’t even count all the pirouettes he did on one leg, not to mention those leaps across the stage!
Danny gets a standing ovation from the audience and the judges. Nigel thinks everyone watching the show should aspire to be as good as Danny. Their words cannot describe how good he is. This is the part where I thought he had it sealed up. I mean, how can you NOT vote for that?
Mia Michaels is choreographing Danny and Neil in a routine about two princes battling for the throne [of So You Think You Can Dance.] Mia explains that two men dancing with each other can be much more aggressive than when their dancing with a girl. Sounds hot, can’t wait to see some testosterone! Danny thinks Nigel will like it.
This one’s for you, Nigel.
The routine is cool, though I don’t know if all that eyeliner screams “masculine.” The dancing is good as the boys literally throw themselves at each other. Thexthy! And this is a routine where Neil’s acrobatics work well in the context of the dance.
Nigel liked it and thought it was masculine, because only manly dances are good dances. He’s glad the concept didn’t get in the way of the dancing or the choreography. Me-ouch, Nigel! Mary found it so believable and felt the tension even in their fingers. Mary vows to remember that number forever.
Cat interviews Sabra, who is as adorable as ever. Though her favorite dace was Wade’s solo, which makes me like her the teeniest bit less. Sabra’s solo is great, though at this point I’m kind of over it. It’s the same every week!
The judges aren’t tired of her dancing. Mary reminds us that Sabra’s only been dancing for four years and encourages people out there to dance even if they think they’re too old to start. That just means there are going to be more old people to humiliate at next year’s first-round auditions. Yay! Dan shows why he is in an idiot and says he thought Dominic was carrying Sabra through the competition for a while, though he’s on her side now. As if!
Lacey and Neil’s last routine of the evening is a lindy hop, which got so much attention through the earlier audition thanks to a pair of particularly good, (though not quite good enough) lindy-hoppers. It involves a lot of flipping upside down by Lacey and she’s a big wimpy baby about it in rehearsal. Oh Lacey, I’m so ready to be done with you, as much as I enjoy your dancing.
I’d be scared, too!
The lindy hop is pretty close to her swing background, so Lacey’s pretty cute in the routine. I don’t know if it’s the colors of their costumes or what, but the whole dance comes off as kind of heavy and not quite as fun as I’d expect from a dance incorporating so many lifts and jumps. These two are so not going to win.
Nigel knows how tough that routine must have been at the end of the show. He compliments them for not losing energy and thinks Lacey finally used her partner well. Mary thought they pulled it off and compliments Neil on his partnering. In case you haven’t noticed I find Dan Karaty’s comments pretty much useless.
Psst, Burger King, isn’t The Simpson Move marketing madness over now? I’m really tired of those commercials.
The last routine of the night belongs to the couple that are my personal favorites. Melanie (aka Bette Midler) is choreographing the Danny and Sabra’s cha-cha. I’m nervous for them to close the show doing ballroom when they’ve never partnered together before.
But how could we be nervous for them? Of course Sabra and Danny are great together. Le sigh, my last time to admire Danny’s amazing legs. There are hip rolls all over the place and this is soooo sexy, even though Sabra killed a muppet for her costume. Could I love these two more?
Poor Animal
Nigel loved it and thinks Sabra should take up ballroom and Latin because she so well suited to the movement. Mary thought the technique wasn’t there in the beginning but started to like it half-way through when she could see their personalities. There’s no “hot tamale train,” but Mary applauds it.
After Cat recaps their performances, Cat goes to the judges for comments. As we know, it’s pretty much useless, though Nigel condescendingly reminds the audience that it would be good to see the girl win. I mean, we all knew they were thinking it this year, but I can’t believe he said it out loud. He’s the epitome of the rich white male running the world, deigning to lower himself to tell the masses that women need their help. Thanks, but no thanks, Nigel.
So, since we all know by now who won, I’ll ask you this: Which dancers do you think will be back as a choreographer next year? Who do you hope comes back?
